I am currently watching Downton Abbey for the first time after much mental debate on whether or not I would like the show, the result….I like the show lol.
I find though when ever I watch or read something that is period such as Pride and Predigest or Jane Eyre etc, I get lost in the times and wish things were like they were. Now don’t get me wrong the 21st century has a lot of privileges that were non existent in the past and we have better chances of a life long lived than we ever did in the past. What I like though about these period stories is the way people spoke and acted, again I know that a lot of these stories are about the upper classes, which I know for a fact I wouldn’t have been part of if I lived in the times, but still.
What I like is that the men and women are respectful of one another something that has now completely disappeared, or at least that’s how it seems to me. Now I am going to go down the romance root. In the 17th, 18th early 19th even earlier centuries people would go courting, and they would be wooed. Nower days guys send a dick pic and think you should be swooning (makes me think of this comic),
or women send pics of them selves in really short dresses with a “duck face” and think yeah they’ll think I’m marriage material. Now I know its each to their own and I am sure some people like that. Me though I just can’t help but think have some self respect.
It all seems to be about sex nower days which again there is nothing wrong with that, me though I am now at this point in my life where I don’t want sex, if anything that’s the last thing on my list of priorities. I want love, romance, commitment, intimacy understanding and most importantly respect. I want someone who will go out of there way to make me smile, someone who says nice words and does those nice things because they love me, someone who will want nothing more than to make me happy just as I make them happy.
But the other thing I love about the past is the way people spoke, how you could be insulted but it was done in a very calm way and with twice as many words, nower days its all fuck you, fuck off, slut, bitch and what ever else, everyone seems more aggressive towards each other, more opinionated on strangers lives because we are all so “connected”, and the worst thing about to days world is everyone is all rush, rush, rush.
So what I want to do is take a leaf from the book of the past and
- slow down, take in my surroundings more
- disconnect and embrace the tools of the old
- educate myself, broaden my vocabulary
- respect myself wholly
- find a partner who gives me the respect that I deserve
I know I must sound old fashioned throughout this post and wanting so much to hold on to elements of the past, but I feel we as humans are not as fulfilled as we once were, yes we have more freedom, more money, more opportunities because class is not as big as a divided as it once was (because believe me it is still there), but we have lost respect for ourselves and for others, we are rushing so much that we are no longer doing the simple things in life, like actually getting to know someone before jumping into bed with them. If anything if you do take your time people think your not “normal”, what ever that means. But true respect means taking that sweet time you have been given. So slow down, get to know each other, respect each other, and enjoy life to its fullest.
I had a friend who met a guy through me and my ex, there relationship was all talking, dates, flirting, months went by and they hadn’t slept together, the most intimate they got was kissing very passionately, so much so that she would just want to jump him she was that turned on but he never allowed that to happen until he knew that she wanted more that just his body, he went places with her that wasn’t his scene but took an interest in them because they were hers interests, he said loving words to her, gave her gifts to make sure she knew that he loved and cared about her, and that when he wasn’t with her he was thinking of her, and when they finally did sleep together she told me it was the best sex she ever had, because they had waited. They are still together and they are really happy and I don’t ever see their relationship coming to an end.
This is what I want. A relationship built on trust, understanding, love and respect. Not a relationship built on sex first then getting to know each other later like my past relationships have been.
x Kayleigh x