I’m a dreamer

Like the title suggests, yes I am a dreamer, aren’t we all?

I’m so much of a dreamer however that I actually live in fairy tale land, ok that’s an exaggeration I definitely do not live is Story Brook, but I do tend to live my life by story standards.


When I was a kid of the 90’s I watched friends, and like all my friends at the time we would discuss which character we were from the series. I remember in my early teens thinking I was like Rachel because me and a lad I knew were constantly having an on off relationship, sort of like Ross and Rachel, since growing up however I find I am more like Phoebe. But the one think I always wanted growing up was the tight friend connection they all had, and even the sharing of each others clothes and shoes.

I can safely say I never got this. I have had multiple friendship groups but nothing like the characters on friends, the closes thing I have had is the love/conflicted relationship that Monica and Rachel have because they have known each other for so long, and I defiantly haven’t been in a position to swap clothes or shoes with my female friends because I have always been bigger than them. Most of my female friends are around 5″5, size 5 shoe and size 10/12 clothes, where is I am 5″9, size 8.5/9 shoe and size 14/16 clothes.


Obviously when it comes to life it would be great to be given a promotion or job because you were passionate and were just there at the right time, Or to have really cool life experiences because and was just in the right place at the right time. But alas life isn’t like that, or at least not for everyone. I have just gone 30 and I am only just going down a new career path, the jobs I go for yes there my passions and are rewarding in there own ways but the pay is crap, and that tends to be the way. In my last job (I worked in a museum) if I wanted a promotion or a way to rise to the top I would have been waiting a heck of a long time, maybe even waiting for the death of someone before the position was even open for someone new, how bleak is that. But in the movie world it seems that people are recognize for their talents, and its recognized when their in the late 20s like the charmed sisters for example, Phoebe after finishing college is able to walk straight into a job and she aces at in to the point she gets rewards etc, Prue the same thing changers careers as a photographer and intently gets work. Now again I’m not saying this doesn’t happen, it does but its rare. But watching you favorite character having to struggle and fight to get the job wouldn’t be interesting to see unless it was part of the plot.

and finally the big one, the one that has damaged so many people


I am the stereotype, well sort of. When I am in a relationship I do firmly believe in a joint union ship. I am the sort of person who will truly complement my partner to show them how much they mean to me and how much I love and care for them, I will complement them to make them feel better in themselves and I am genuine when I do this. I am the type of person who will buy crap for my partner because it made me think of them. I am the sort of person who loves to surprise my partner with breakfast in bed, who will go above and beyond to show how much they mean to me, and the biggest thing I do is I actual get involved in their interest because its their world, I may not care for it but I know it makes them happy so I support that. I try to be the best I can. Of course i’m not perfect far from it, but I try to show the person I love just how much I love them through my actions and not just through my words.

Unfortunately there has only ever been one past boyfriend who was romantic to me, my long term boyfriends however weren’t.

When it comes to a man I want all the traditional traits to an extent like opening doors, because that is what I would do too, if you’ve gotten to the door before me its kind to offer to hold it. When it comes to a meal they offer to pay, believe me I will fight for the right to pay but maybe we come to an agreement I get this one and you get the next. He gives me complements because that is how he truly feels and also because he wants to make me feel better in my skin, he goes to my places of interest because he knows I like them even if he doesn’t, he doesn’t show it, he buys me flowers and not just because its a special occasion but because he thought it would be nice, he arranges outs and trips away instead of it always falling onto me, he loves to cuddle in bed, he kisses my nose and forehead, he’ll play with me because we’re big children, we go and watch the sunset or rise together because he wants to start a beautiful day with me, I want to be chased down the beach and spun around while laughing my head off, I want to come home to candles and petals, I want to dance through the house together, all I want is romance but without having to tell him, I want him to show me that he loves me and make me feel as though I am the only girl for him, I want him to fight for me because i am too important to lose.

I have had elements of these things I’m not going to say I haven’t, but the men I have chosen in the past never thought to do these things (except for one man and it made me feel uneasy because I wasn’t use to it) and took me for granted. It also seems like too much to ask but I know when I am with the right person that will not be the case because everything said above would just be second nature, because at the end of the day I just want to be loved an treated like the winning prize not the runner up. Most importantly I want to be woe’ed, why is it today everything is rushed, you meet you kiss, you sleep together and boom your a couple. Well no more I want a gentleman, not a horny teenager, I want someone to want to know me and how to make me smile rather than someone who just wants to get into my pants, I want a joint union relationship not a rivalry. Is that really too much to ask?

I know a lot of people can scoff at fairy tales and complain that its giving women the wrong impression but I feel not, because why shouldn’t both men and women woe each other? why shouldn’t both men and women be treated with respect rather than being treated like a piece of meat? I’m no princess and I sure as hell do not want a knight in shining armor (unless he had made it himself because that would be cool, I do love swords) all I want is some real love and respect.

But I am sure there are loads of other areas in life and in peoples relationships that movies and stories have blown out of proportion, or over simplified because at the end of the day what you see or read is the start of a relationship, not a long time committed relationship. But it also seems like in reality when a relationship has been formed and it goes into long term that people stop trying which is why relationships start to crumble, and it shouldn’t be left to just one side to fix it.

x Kayleigh x



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